The receptionist smiled at me, and repeated that there weren't any appointments. //Super!//
I mean, all I need is 5 minutes with the doctor and his little perscription pad, it's not like I need an anal probing.
Last night I realized that I was on my last refill of my perscription. I didn't think it was a big deal until I realized that for the next three weeks I'd be on field work and unable to make an appointment. So today, praying for a miracle, I went to health services to see if I could be squeezed in tomorrow. I explained my situation to the receptionist, who didn't care. And asked me if I'd like to make an appointment for next week. //Uh, lady, didn't I just tell you that I couldn't do that?!//
It's not nice to do that to a person with anxiety problems. I had a near panic attack in the waiting room, but managed to calm myself down before it went full blown. So now I'm praying that I'll be able to get a refill at home from an old perscription on Christmas break, since my dad and the pharmacist are buddy buddy.
Suuuuuuuuuper. I just want to hide in my bed, watch General Hospital and read.
Duck, duck, goose
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Annie G. Freeman's fabulous traveling funeral / Kris Radish
Up next:
Tree Grows in Brooklyn / Betty Smith
Just finished:
Skylight Confessions / Alice Hoffman
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2 comments:
You know, I'm just wondering how long exactly you've been on medication for anxiety/depression. Most people don't stay on drugs for depression for years and years on end, especially when they are young and otherwise healthy.
Have you considered thearpy? Drugs remove symptoms, but never the core of the problem. And drugs are not meant for continual consumption.
Besides the fact that they don't seem to really be helping you if all you want to do is lie in bed all day and watch General Hospital. The numbing effect of anti-depressants disallow this kind of behaviour- believe me, I know from lots of experience.
Maybe you should be discussing alternative treatment with your doctor. It's quite obvious that although the course of treatment you're persuing right now is effective in one sense, it's obviously not fully meeting your own personal requirements.
I have done the therapy thing, which helped to a degree. The constant "how did/does that make you feel?" got on my nerves. It made me feel depressed and anxious, why do think I'm here?!
I've been on the meds for a year now. Maybe they're just a crutch, but I like my crutch, dammit. I'm leagues better than I was, I just have the occasional [as in, never really] day where things aren't peachy keen. The occasional anxiety bout is quite a bit better than getting up every morning and wanting to slit my wrists. I've been under a lot of stress lately, so old behaviours have crept up a little.
I'd really rather not be on medication for the rest of my life, but for now I'm sticking to it.
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