One of my guilty pleasures is soap operas.

They're stupid, repetitive, and non-feminist. But dammit, I always get suckered in.

I started watching Days of Our Lives when I was 13. Stefano had Marlena in a cage, John was married to Kristen who was faking her pregnancy so she could hold on to him, all of the current teens were toddlers, and Hope was starting to investigate her supposed past as Princess Gina.

I stopped watching once Stefano left, because it just wasn't the same then. I picked it back up last fall, when I found that I had a lot of extra time in the afternoon.

Now all of the beloved characters have been killed. I mean, Alice choked on a doughnut fer Chrissakes! I am once again losing interest because of this assinine serial killer storyline.

Also last fall, April got me hooked on General Hospital. Sonny had accidentally shot his wife Carly while she was giving birth to their son, Zander and Emily got a divorce, and then Elizabeth had a one night stand with Zander and wound up pregnant. Every few weeks someone gets shot, or kidnapped, or is beaten up.

I think I enjoy soaps because no matter how fucked up my own life is, the characters always have worse problems.

Because hey, I'm sure my mobster husband will never shoot me whilst giving birth then lay in a coma while dreaming about my husband's drug lord arch nemesis and the life we could have had and then wake to find out I no longer have feelings for my husband but love the arch nemesis.

Yeah.