With the end of college mere days away and my goddamned period on the horizon, I've been feeling like an emotional shipwreck. I'm happy I'll be done school, sad I'll be leaving Ottawa, happy to have a job, sad to have to move back home, happy to get away from April, sad to be separated from LibraryBoy.

I feel like I've been on the verge of tears all week, but they refused to spill forth. Until this morning, that is, when I was hunting for newer fiction books to be put on display. My mind wandered back to this morning, to my favourite moment of the day. Every morning I get up at 8, kiss LibraryBoy, stumble to the shower and get ready. Then about 10 minutes before I have to go, I gently crawl onto the bed, rub his arm and snuggle in. It always takes him a minute to wake up, rub the sleep from his eyes and smile. We lay there until I absolutely have to go, and I reluctantly get up and he reluctantly lets me. He squeezes my hand and whispers "love you..." and we kiss one final time.

It was this I was thinking about this morning, as I was looking for the latest Fern Michaels novel on the shelf when all of a sudden I felt heartsick and alone the tears welled up. A few managed to let go and run down my cheeks, and although I really wanted to just sit on the floor and all out sob I held back and continued my searching.