Undeliverable mail:

Dear Fuckwit,

If you aren't out of April's bed by 4:30 in the afternoon when I get back from work, I'm not going to turn my music down. I don't care that you were up until 6 in the effing morning playing computer games, it's my effing room that I effing paid for and if you want to effing sleep go to your own effing room.

xxoo,

Heather

P.S. You're a loser.

~*~

Dear tall, smelly older gentleman on the bus,

I know the bus was rather full yesterday afternoon, but did you really have to stand next me so that my head was stuck in your armpit?

xxoo,

Heather

~*~

Dear hot teacher-guy,

You so hot. Please stop by the library more often.

xxoo,

Heather

~*~

Dear bank account,

Why can't you multiply instead of subtracting all the time? Especially right now when I need a pair of boots and more dress pants.

xxoo,

Heather

~*~

Dear April,

Next time I make dinner please refrain from being a slightly ungrateful wench. Yes, I get home earlier than you, but that doesn't mean that you get to sit on your ass while I do all the work.

xxoo,

Heather